


Alone

by UPlover



Category: Barry (TV 2018), IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Angst, Barry - Freeform, Comfort, Crossover, Crying, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Heartbreak, M/M, Movie: IT Chapter Two (2019), Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Reddie, Reddie comfort, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, Tears, The Losers Club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23133958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UPlover/pseuds/UPlover
Summary: This is a sequel to my story, Understand. Eddie tearfully relays what is bothering him to Richie. Also, I was inspired by a scene from the show, Barry to write this.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 18





	Alone

“Can we be alone?” Eddie asked Richie quietly as tears still fell from his eyes. They stood out in the hallway for a considerable amount of time, hugging as they listened to the happy chatter in the other room. 

Pulling apart, Richie smiled at him, giving him another kiss to his forehead. “Yeah, we can. Wanna hit the road?”

Asking that only made Eddie feel guilty for leaving Ben and Beverly’s Valentine’s Day party early. Guests were starting to trickle out anyway. Reluctantly, he nodded his head.

Gathering their belongings, Richie went in to say goodbye for them so he wouldn’t have to make Eddie walk in while he was upset. They drove back to the hotel they were staying at for the night. While on the way, they were quiet. Catching glances of Eddie, tears built up in the corners of his eyes as his lip trembled, struggling to hold everything together. It hurt Richie to see Eddie this way.

Once they got into their hotel room, Eddie bolted into the bedroom, a sob escaping his throat. Worried, Richie followed, standing in the doorway, giving Eddie some needed space. Eddie collapsed against the dresser which had a mirror, sobbing. Even though his love’s back was facing him, Richie could see his distraught expression right through the reflection.

“Hey, Eds, what’s wrong?” Richie asked him, hoping that calling him by his nickname would cheer him up in some way.

Shaking his head, covering his eyes, and letting out these horrible cries, Eddie sobbed, “She never loved me!”

“W-What?” Richie took off his jacket, never taking his eyes off Eddie. “What are you talking about?”

Eddie’s breathing stumbled, trying to take a breath and to explain himself further. He didn’t want Richie to see his face but it was for the sake so that he could talk with his love, and to try to make sense of the matter. Talking to his reflection in the mirror didn’t feel like talking.

Turning to meet Richie’s understanding eyes, Eddie was still trying to gather his jumbled thoughts together. It was weird because he never had any of these thoughts until this very night. Nor did he ever feel this way. He was not one to have a breakdown. That was until everything changed.

“It’s because I never had a fucking clue what love was! I just married a woman who never loved me because I felt like I couldn’t live without my mother and that sounds so-so… sick! And you know what Myra did? Every time she called me on the phone, even t-to order me to pull my socks up, that was so stupid, she made it a rule that I always had to tell her that I loved her! And sometimes I’d forget, she’d call me right back and make me say it! But, she never said it back and then she’d just hang up the phone!”

Walking over to him, Richie placed a hand against his boyfriend’s shaking arm to comfort him. He rubbed it. “Why are you thinking about all of this? Eddie, have I said something wrong? You can tell me.”

Eddie wiped the falling tears, looking all around the room for an answer. He was being such a wimp for this breakdown. Myra rolled her eyes whenever he cried. “I feel like a have no fucking clue what I’m doing!” Eddie cried, frustrated.

“… About us?”

Nodding, Eddie avoided Richie’s eyes, wiping his tears. His breathing was shaky. “I love you, Richie! I love you. Do I say that enough?”

“Eddie, you express your love however much you want to me. I think the real question is do I tell you that I love you enough?” Richie consoled his love, continuing to move his hand in slow motions up Eddie’s arm.

“No, I mean, yes, yes you do tell me that you love me. You express it all the time. You always tell me, you show me, you express it, I love how you touch me, it’s nice and I love it! I-I… how much is enough!” Eddie asked, his body deflating. “Myra never did any of that! And my mother never did any of that to my dad. Whenever my dad touched her shoulder she would just shake it off! Why did she do that? I love the way you touch me and when you say that you love me, but do you like it when I do it to you?”

“You’re overwhelmed,” Richie tried to calm him down. He was worried that Eddie was going to pass out.

“Everyone has always controlled me! I know it was wrong, but I’m trying to change, I really am, but it’s so hard! You’ve been helping me, and you have never given up on me when Myra would give up on the conversation and just say that I am being silly. And then I keep thinking about my parent’s relationship over and over which I never think about, and-and Myra. God, some days I can still hear her voice! It was so stupid of me to marry her!”

Richie shook his head at him. “Don’t call yourself that, Eddie. You are the smartest guy I know, and I mean that! You’re strong.”

“She knew!” Eddie bellowed, barely even listening to Richie. “She knew I didn’t love her. She knew my mom, our relationship, and she’d never let me hear the end of it on how I used to act around her! It was so embarrassing being out with her in public because of the way she’d talk to me making me out as the wife! I never tried. I never stuck up for myself! I even tried to leave one night, and I was in the car, but then my mom’s voice came into my head. And I walked back into the house, and I snuggled with Myra in bed!”

This was all so much for Richie to take in. He never knew that Eddie even considered leaving Myra. “You are now. You’re sticking up for yourself, Eddie. You’re doing just that. You took control. You divorced her,” Richie said softly to try and make him calm down.

“But, I didn’t when it was going on! Her words…” Eddie looked frightened as if he were staring at a ghost across the room. Finally, he looked into Richie’s eyes. “It felt like she was hitting me, but she didn’t, she never did!” Eddie choked on his breath, shaking his head to reassure Richie from thinking the worst. Eddie was working himself up, flushing his face. “I feel like-like, I have no clue who I am!”

“That’s crazy,” Richie told him.

“Then who am I?!”

Richie grasped his face, drying the tears away, and looking at him straight in his brown eyes. “You are Eddie Kaspbrak. You’re brave. And I love you.”

Eddie looked into his eyes, overwhelmed. “Oh Richie, I don’t deserve you…”

“You do.” Richie brushed his hands down Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie tried to get rid of the tears to no avail, still upset and his breath hitching. “You are doing enough. I love you.”

“Oh, Richie…” Eddie’s voice wavered, still upset from all the unwanted memories flooding his mind tonight.

“Eds,” Richie whispered softly as he pulled him into a hug. “It’s okay.” They just held one another tightly for the rest of the night, even cuddling in bed until Eddie’s tears subsided. He touched his head against Richie who still kept a close watch over him.

Finally, Eddie smiled. “I love you, Rich.”

“I love you, Eddie.”

Due to exhaustion, Eddie was out like a light. But he smiled, cuddling with his love.


End file.
